Here On Crazed Island
by DeathByCactus
Summary: The Professor finds some interesting tools washed ashore and chaos begins. I always thought that the Professor was a bit nutty.
1. Chapter 1

Gilligan was walking along when he saw something moving in a bush. He couldn't make out what it was, so he moved closer.

"Hello?..."

The rustling stopped. Gilligan approached the bush slowly.

"Wh-who's there?"

Suddenly, the Skipper leaped out of the bush, holding Mary Ann in his arms. She wasn't moving.

"Why hey there little buddy!" The Skipper said in his normal jolly voice. He seemed to think nothing was wrong carrying the unconscious woman in his arms.

"Skipper, what's wrong with Mary Ann?" Gilligan was genuinely concerned.

The Skipper laughed and said, "Nothing! I have merely beat her unconscious. I plan on duplicating her."

Gilligan was sure that either the Skipper had gone mad, or _he_ had. "S-say that again?"

The Skipper suddenly grew very upset. "I said… I have BEAT her UNCONSCIOUS, and I am going back to the Professor's hut to DUPLICATE her. Why don't you mind your own business, you scrawny excuse for sailor."

Gilligan was dumbfounded. _Scrawny_? The Skipper was never that mean, even when he was angry. Gilligan's head was spinning.

The Skipper stormed off in the direction of the Professor's hut.

Gilligan followed him. He wanted to make sure that the Skipper and Mary Ann were okay. _The Skipper has probably been bitten by some weird bug or something_, Gilligan thought to comfort himself.

. . .

Back at the Professor's hut, there was maniacal laughter and the sound of power tools. Ginger knocked on the door to see what was going on.

"Professor, is everything alri-"

The Professor flung the door open, and stood there in a tattered shirt smeared with machine oil. "What the hell do you want?! I am working on something extremely important!" The Professor laughed in a way that made Ginger very uncomfortable. His voice cracked near the end.

"That is _not_ how you speak to a lady." Ginger tried to keep her composure as the Professor eyed her hungrily.

"Would you like to see something Ginger. Would you like to see something fascinating?"

Ginger avoided eye contact with the crazed professor. "I guess so…"

"You _guess_ so? Hah, you people have no respect for science!"

"You people?" Ginger was slightly offended. She was a movie star, not just any old girl.

The Professor laughed again and motioned Ginger into his hut, where she was met by a horrifying sight. Strange tools, like none she had ever seen, surrounded a table that was covered in robotic body parts that looked oddly similar to hers. Ginger stood there blankly.

The Professor beamed at her. "I found these tools! They washed up on the shore and I took them and I used them. They are fan-TA-stic! I am duplicating everyone on the island! EVERYONE!"

Ginger was appalled. "You've lost your mind Professor! I was once in a movie with a mad scientist. He was-"

"Blah blah blah, nobody cares about your stupid movies. No one is getting in the way of the duplication process. Not even a pretty thing like yourself." And with that, the Professor clubbed her over the head with his fist, knocking her unconscious.

At this time, the Skipper arrived with Mary Ann.

"Excellent, another castaway to duplicate!" The professor motioned the Skipper to lay Mary Ann down next to Ginger.

This was, in fact, not the actually Skipper, who was the second castaway to be duplicated, but the robot Skipper. Skipper X35, as the Professor liked to call him. This was because the power tools had DrillMonster X35 boldly stamped on them in bright orange letters.

Skipper X35 laid down Mary Ann next to Ginger and awaited the Professor's next command.


	2. Chapter 2

Gilligan carefully approached the Professor's hut. He could here sounds of drilling and laughter echoing within. Surely the Professor hadn't lost his mind as well! Gilligan knocked on the door sheepishly. Almost immediately it swung open.

The professor stood there shirtless, drill in one hand, robotic arm in the other. "And what the hell do you want?! I have people practically swarming in here asking me silly questions and delaying my work. I suppose you will be next in line to be duplicated. Enhanced, if you will."

Gilligan's eyes widened. "N-n-n-no way you're gonna d-d-duplicate me", he managed to stammer before taking off as fast as his lanky body would carry him.

. . .

Mr. Howell was busily sorting through various watches to find the one that matched his suit the best.

"Lovey dear! I just _can't_ find that silver watch! The one with the floral engravings one it."

Gilligan burst into the hut before Mrs. Howell could respond. "Mr. Howell, Mr. Howell! The Skipper and the Professor and the girls and _robots!_"

"Gilligan, now just slow down my boy! I'm trying to find my watch."

Gilligan looked down at the pile of watches in front of him and pointed. "You mean those?"

"No, no, a _silver_ one. Lovey, where have you gone to?"

Gilligan covered his mouth. "Uh oh…"

Mr. Howell looked up at him and frowned. "What are you going on about Gilligan? Go ahead, spit it out."

"The professor and the Skipper and Mrs. Howell and Mary Ann and Ginger! Robots!"

"Robots?! How uncivilized…"

Gilligan tried to explain the situation to Mr. Howell slower. "The professor is making robots out of people! And Mrs. Howell is probably next!"

Mr. Howell stiffened up immediately. His voice grew deep. "Absolutely no one is making a robot out of _my_ lovey. I always knew the Professor had his eye on her."


	3. Chapter 3

Mr. Howell and Gilligan rushed outside to find that it had started raining.

Mr. Howell quickly stepped back into the hut and crossed his arms. "Now I have to change my jacket!"

"Mr. Howell, we need to save the girls", Gilligan said, tugging on Mr. Howell's sleeve.

Mr. Howell brushed Gilligan's hand off and replied, "This is cashmere boy! You don't take cashmere into the rain. Now, I must find appropriate attire."

"But think about Mrs. Howell", Gilligan pleaded.

"Oh Lovey", Mr. Howell looked longingly at his closet full of jackets, before turning away.

Gilligan pulled the millionaire out into the pouring rain.

. . .

The professor paced around in his hut, fearing the unexpected rain. "How in the _hell_ am I going to proceed with the duplication process with this humidity?"

Skipper X35 approached him and tapped on his shoulder. The professor spun around to face him.

"Um, Professor, there is a bit of a problem."

The professor let out a large sigh. "What could possibly be wrong now?"

The Skipper held out his arm, showing how black mold had started to eat through the organic flesh and tarnish the metal underneath.

Ginger stirred in the corner. She fluttered her eyelids open dramatically. In front of her she witnessed the professor tear Skipper X35's arm off with a massive amount of force and fling it behind him. She was impressed by the power of this shirtless maniac in front of him.

Ginger wiped that from her mind as she glanced around for a way out. Nothing nearby. Skipper X35 was screaming as the Professor tried to calm him down and drill on another arm.

"I don't want a woman's arm Professor!"

"Quiet! I am trying to work!"

The Professor drilled a robotic Ginger arm onto Skipper X35.

Just as Ginger was about to make a run for the exit, a knock sounded on the door. The Professor flung the door open.

Mrs. Howell stood outside in a fashionable green raincoat. "You're making an awful lot of noise in here, and Thurston and I would rather enjoy a little peace and quiet."

. . .

Gilligan and Mr. Howell arrived just in time to see the Professor smile and motion for Mrs. Howell to enter his hut.

"Why, that man has gotten a hold on my woman!" Mr. Howell shook his cane in the air and turned to Gilligan. "This means war…"


	4. Chapter 4

The Professor took a break from his work to be a kind host to his guest, Mrs. Howell. He turned to Skipper X35 and commanded, "Keep watch over the bodies, I am tending to our guest."

Skipper X35 frowned and responded, "But Professor, what about the _master plan_? We can't take over if we-"

The Professor snatched up a drill from the table and shoved it into the torso of Skipper X35. "I have a _GUEST_ right now!" His voiced cracked when he screamed guest.

Skipper X35 yelped as metal filings flew through the air.

"Oh my, that's not the Skipper," exclaimed Mrs. Howell.

"Indeed it isn't. A sad excuse for hardware," the Professor said shaking his head. "Let's have some tea."

The professor led Mrs. Howell into a backroom in his hut. A table stood there with a few cups laying around on it. The Professor cleared them off, sending them crashing onto the floor. He pulled out new ones from a small cabinet and got out a coconut bowl filled with a brown powder.

"Now what kind of tea is that? I _only_ drink English tea," said Mrs. Howell as she was being seated.

"This tea is special. I had it for the first time today, and it made me feel ALIVE."

The professor's eyes gleamed as he poured water into the cups, followed by a few pinches of the tea. He handed one to Mrs. Howell. He was just about to take a sip of his when his face suddenly became confused.

"What are we doing here Mrs. Howell? How-wha-I don't-DON'T DRINK THAT TEA!"

The Professor launched himself over the table at Mrs. Howell but it was too late. Mrs. Howell frowned, then started to twitch. Suddenly, both her eyes popped out and smoke rose from the sockets. The smell of fried electronics drifted towards the Professor.

"Of course! The tea made me lose my mind. Mrs. Howell is a robot. It all make sense now. But… What have I done?!"

Just then, Gilligan and Mr. Howell crashed through the door wielding a cane and a branch. They spotted a sweaty shirtless Professor laying on the table next to a smoking Mrs. Howell.

"Lovey?! What have you done to my wife, you madman!?" Mr. Howell swung his cane at the Professor.

"Wait! Wait! I'm fine again. This isn't Mrs. Howell, this is a robot!"

Gilligan squinted at the Professor. "How can we know you're better, huh? For all we know, you could be an alien or something…"

The professor laughed, "I am certainly not and alien Gilligan. The tea that I discovered altered my state of consciousness and drove me to insanity. It has passed through my system now, and I should be fine."

"Where's my Lovey," cried Mr. Howell.

The Professor opened his closet and out tumbled Mrs. Howell and the Skipper. Ginger and Mary Ann had regained consciousness and peeked into the room.

"It's alright now girls, I'm fine," said the Professor.

. . .

The Professor rid himself of the tea and the robots, and apologized to the castaways that he had traumatized. Ginger still couldn't get the image of the Professor, sweating and shirtless, out of her head. Mr. Howell and Mrs. Howell vowed not to let the other leave their sight ever again.

Gilligan stumbled upon the mysterious tea a few days later and tasted it. It tasted so good that he ate the whole thing…


End file.
